The morning is here, it is different, it feels different. I am
not in my bedroom anymore, maybe that wish worked. But where am I? The floor
seems strange, it is not floor at all, and why does it feel so hot in winter?
The ground felt gritty, an unfamiliar smell lingered on the warm wind, the
taste of the air was no longer damp, everything around was quiet only the gushing
of the wind was heard.
I awoke by the intense sun rays and, for the first time, I saw
where I was. It must be a dream or why else would I be stranded here? My wish
was to live alone not to be left to die alone. I was standing in the middle of
nowhere, nowhere to go, nowhere to stay. No form of life was visible to my
naked eye, all around was sand.
I started walking at a slower pace, or the sun's heat slowed my
pace, or the intense wind knocked me back, in search of food, water or people
in this boundless desert. I didn't know how long I have been walking, the sand
dunes looked the same everywhere, I wasn't sure if I have moved any further. I
wondered if there is anyone left at all but this was surely a punishment for my
selfish wish.
No water, no food, no shade and no one to empathize. Far away on
the horizon, I saw two tall figures standing still. They were trees, an Oasis
nearby. My prayer was answered, I rushed towards the oasis. There was water,
coconuts, fruits and trees. I quenched my thrist, fed my hunger and had a good
night's sleep, but a hollow thought kept popping up.
The following morning I had everything I asked for. I had myself
to keep me company. Half day passed, the same hollow thought arose, I wasn't
sure what it was. Everyday I fed myself and rested, few days later there wasn't
any water to drink, no fruits to eat, all that was left were the withered
trees. The Oasis, once surplus in every need, was now a barren land.
Parched and starved, I was walking once again. Now I understood
what that thought was, I was alone. I let myself to be consumed by the
loneliness and now I stand near the death's door with nothing. My wish was
cursed, cursed but cured me. I regret wishing to be alone. I was born to
someone, raised by someone, taught by someone, loved by someone, all my life I
had someone but not now because I wished to be alone.
I will die alone, with no one by my side, with no one to weep
for me. I left them and now they left me. People say at near death our life
flashes before our eyes, all my life I never felt lonely. Today, I stand alone,
die alone because I wished this. Death smiled and put me out of this physical
misery but not my mental agony.
